So have I mentioned...

that I really want to go get Levi soon? Ha ha!

A quiet heart tonight is truly a work of the Lord! Today has been an incredibly unique day for me. I have never wanted something so badly that was so completely out of my hands. I have had moments of peace, but to be honest, I spent the day going back and forth from tearful petitioning of the Lord to reminding myself of the firm foundation of God's sovereignty...but oh, how I want to bring Levi home!

This evening the Lord brought Isaiah 49:15 to my attention and it has given me life tonight. "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son in her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." We all know that the answer to the first question is a resounding yes. In our world we hear of mothers that abuse, abandon, and neglect their own children. Let us not fail to mention that in the Lord's sight when I speak in an unkind tone or choose to serve myself over my children it is the same as having no compassion on them. I was reminded that God is so much greater than any earthly mother. He will NEVER lack compassion and will NEVER forget Levi. This evening I heard so loud and crystal clearly that my job tonight is to be praying Levi home...no, not to our house, but to faith in Christ as his savior. I can do this. I can do this joyfully, fervently, AND peacefully. The Lord knows that my heart wants Levi near...I need not tell him again tonight. I will rejoice that I may intercede for this little Ethiopian soul.

My sweet Levi,

I hope that this is the first night I get to be your mama. What an honor it will be to see you grow in the coming years if the Lord wills. You don't know it, but already your little baby boy life has served to teach me about our God. His kindness, faithfulness, provision, and grace are so much more real to me now that our paths have crossed, little one. You have been set apart for the work of the Lord in your first 5 months...you didn't know you had been so busy, huh? I can't wait to meet you and see your smile! I hope that it will be soon! You have a brother and sister who delight in talking about you and looking at your picture. They are just as eager as Daddy and I to have you in our family. Levi, tonight is a big night. I feel prompted by the Lord to specifically be praying for you in this way:

Eph 3:14-19
And now, may our great and eternal Father bless you, Levi.
May He strengthen your inner being with power from the Holy Spirit.
May Christ dwell richly in your heart through faith.
May you be rooted and grounded in love so that you will comprehend with all the saints the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge.
May you be filled up to all the fullness of God according to the riches of His glory.
And may you exalt His glorious name forever and ever. Amen!

Prayer Thursday

It is hard to describe how I feel today. Excited - definitely. Thankful - immeasurably. Afraid - I confess, a tad bit. Eager for tomorrow to come - AAAAAAHHHHHH YES!

It all seems a bit unreal. Tonight, while we sleep, a new little boy could be joining our family. We could go to sleep with 2 kids and wake up with 3 - How crazy is that! I will sleep soundly tonight knowing that just as I see the Lord working in my own life, I can know that He will be working His sovereign will out in the courts of Ethiopia. I know my God is good in ALL that He does and if we have to wait out another court date it will not be in vain, but will serve for the purpose of the gospel to be advanced. Lord, help me to be faithful to hold you as my ultimate treasure whatever the outcome.

Please join me in praying for news of a new son tomorrow. Also, please pray for improved communication with Holt workers in Ethiopia. This week and last there have been times when Holt staff in Oregon could not reach staff in Addis and news of court outcomes have been delayed several days. This is out of the ordinary, but as far as I know one family had a court date last night and must wait until tomorrow for Holt to try connecting again. I'm not sure what the cause is, but have not heard that it is affecting the children in any way...just their soon-to-be parents that are WEARY of waiting!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for praying with us! This is the way the Lord designed the body of Christ to work...bearing one another's burdens AND rejoicing with one another. I hope that we are all REJOICING with WHOOPS and HOLLERS tomorrow!!!

Prayer for Wednesday

Ooooh! We are getting closer! Here are some thoughts that I will be praying through today:

• Levi will be moved to the main care center in Addis soon. It somewhere around a 6 hour drive. Carseats are not used in Ethiopia so the nannies just hold the little babies on their laps :) Please pray for safe travel.
• Please pray that he is becoming familiar with our faces from the photo album we sent, that the Lord would even now be teaching Levi about his new family.
• Please pray for favor in the courts so that Levi will be our son when we wake up Friday morning!

This is where I rest...

I don't know what the outcome of Levi's court date will be. My soul will not rest in "willing" good news to come...because it might not and it is out of my hands. It will not rest as long as I am expecting bad news. Here it will rest:

"Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him." Isaiah 64:4

"I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me." Jer 32:40

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

What I DO know is that I have been given a great salvation in which I stand right now. I look forward to eternity with my Lord and Savior who came to rescue me while I was still His enemy. He has given me a heart that is able to know and love Him in a very real way. I need nothing more than to know that to feel that I have already received much more than I could ever deserve. He orders my circumstances that I might know Him better...which is where He has created me to find my greatest joy. What a delight it will be to meet Levi in the Lord's time. I will continue praying fervently that it will be soon. There will surely be tears if another court date is required, however, I will not despair for my hope is in the Lord and He has made the boundary lines to fall in pleasant places for me. Hmmm...this has been an unexpected fight to rest in the Lord. Thanks for bearing with me as I wrestle with all that is running through my head and heart.

Man, what a kick it will be to walk off the airplane with Levi when we arrive back home!!!! Whenever it is it will be AMAZING!!!!

Where do I rest?

This past few months has been quite a test of my heart which by the grace of God I have passed in some areas, and in others I have failed miserably. Currently I feel like I am failing miserably. I am trying to figure out where in the world my emotions should be right now. Crazy excited? Yes! Not wanting to be crushed if we don't pass court on Friday? A tearful yes. Where do I rest? In excitement OR in somber realization that there is a chance that we would not pass court and would have to wait 6 weeks more. I confess that I am letting myself dwell in the much more somber mood lately. Excited that our court date is so near, but protecting my heart fiercely.

I want to meet Levi. I want to see him. I want to see him as a momma sees him, not in a picture anymore or in the words of official documents. I want to squeeze him and tell him I love him and smell his little boy skin and tickle his toes...all the things the Lord has designed little boys and their mamas to love. Oh, Lord please let us pass court this week that we could bring him home soon.

And so I remember through tears that the Lord sets the lonely in families, that He is and has always been the best Father to Levi. He is ministering to Levi right now, even as I write, in a way that I will always be unable to do. The Lord loves Levi more and better than I can. All things are bearable when we are confident they have been lovingly designed to fulfill a purpose in us. This wait is not meaningless. The Lord continues to knit Levi into our hearts, deeper and deeper as time goes on. Each stitch a little bit more painful, yet we know that when we see Levi, he will not be a stranger to us. This wait is good and right as it has been ordained by the Lord, however long it becomes. When we see Levi we will KNOW that he is our son, and I chuckle as I think about having him home that the only difference will be that when we talk about Levi he will be able to hear us!

I have had the opportunity to talk about Levi and the adoption much these days. When I talk to someone new about our adoption, almost everyone remarks with disgust that adoption is such a long and difficult process and costs too much. I used to have that same opinion, however, it is different now that I am in the midst. It is unfortunate that it must be so, but oh, it so protects these children. The many checks to ensure that the children, who are at the mercy of adults around them, go to safe and secure homes, and the long wait that grows them a place in our hearts are good. Let us not forget that if it were not for the sin of man, adoption would not be necessary. If it were not for our desperately wicked hearts, numerous checks into our character would not be needed. If the church would simply commit to caring for the orphan, financial requirements would be easily met.

I'll get off my soapbox for just a while.

Prayer Tuesday

Please be praying today for electricity! Rolling blackouts by neighborhood are not uncommon in Addis Ababa. From what I have read, this is due to the lack of rains in Ethiopia resulting in a shortage of water for the power plants. I have also heard that blackouts are one reason that court dates get moved...so lets pray for electricity in the courts on Thursday!

4 Days!

I am LOVING that we are getting so close to our court date! If you would like to join us in praying more specifically for Levi's court hearing I will be posting something to pray for each day this week.

Today please pray with us that ALL of Levi's paperwork will be put together correctly with NO papers missing. There is one judge who hears cases and one government agency that handles all adoption cases in Ethiopia. I have read that there were 3000 international adoptions out of Ethiopia last year. This makes for at least 15 cases/day (if our math is right) and that doesn't account for holidays. So, it is only understandable that sometimes paperwork is incomplete simply due to the magnitude of their job.

In other news, the garage sale craziness is well underway :) We have MOVED THE DATE of the garage sale to May 15th - 16th. We are anticipating travel at the end of May when the garage sale was initially scheduled for. Sorry for the change in date, we set the original date when we were expecting for our court date to be in June. Anyway, we still welcome any and all donations. We will do the sorting and pricing and would be glad to help haul stuff for you :)