A surprising breakfast topic

So, breakfast started out as usual. Evan with his cheerios and sippy cup of milk and Juliana picking the almonds out of her oatmeal crunch cereal and tossing them into my cereal with slobbery hands. Then the conversation got really deep, really fast and before I knew it the avalanche erupted into Juliana crying and saying, "I don't want to die." I'm not even sure how it started, but I think it started when out of the blue Juliana asked, "Momma, are we gonna die." Craig and I have long ago talked about how we are not going to "little white lie" to our kids. Juliana knows that Santa is just a nice man in a costume who gives gifts, for example. We think he is fun and are excited when he comes around at Christmas, but that is all he is. Believe it or not our kids are still really happy kids and Juliana LOVES Christmas! So often in our culture today we talk about "passing away" or "going to be with the Lord", but the truth about it is we all die. So, here I am in tears over my own cheerios trying to figure out how to calm my little girl and still speak truth to her about death. Oh, how gloriously easy it would have been to say, "Oh, honey don't worry about that. Look, quick! Evan is blowing spit bubbles again!" so as to change the subject to something much easier. I remember telling her, "Yeah sweetie, we all are going to die, but do you remember where we get to go when we die?" She did remember that we go to heaven, but found it little consolation. I reminded her of a verse she knows (Joshua 1:9) "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go." and I talked to her about how even when we die we are never apart from Jesus. It probably didn't help that I was crying too. Thankfully Evan seemed oblivious to the sobbing girls at the table and continued shoving cheerios into his mouth. I was searching for wisdom at the moment and after a hug and a "We'll talk to daddy about this more later." she seemed to calm down. Yeah, I know she will only be turning 3 tomorrow, and yes, I do think it is appropriate even at three to tell our kids about death b/c it gives us the chance to hold forth the sufficiencey of Christ even in death. I often pray that Juliana will grow in the wisdom and knowledge of God and then am shocked when she throws me one of these direct questions where I am given the golden opportunity to share with her the truths of the Lord instead of the truths of sesame street. I am so quick to forget his faithfulness to answer prayers that are in line with His will. Lord, let me not waste these moments! I pray that she would see your glory and be changed - even at the ripe old age of three! How does this relate to adoption, you wonder? Well, I suppose I just had time to reflect this afternoon that my momma heart has now been cut apart yet again with one piece always being with my sweet Juliana, one piece always travelling with my handsome little Evan, and yet another already with our new baby in Ethiopia. By far the hardest part of being a parent is to see your child suffering. As one who has battled specifically against the sin of fear of dying, am I ready to stretch my heart out even more? Am I ready to shepherd yet another child through this world where they are guaranteed to suffer trials...I am afraid (with a smile) that it is too late!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39